The Wagon of the Folk

I have just invented the four wheel motorised vehicle, and I shall name it the Automobile, or Car to its friends.
I think now I have invented it, I need to advertise it, maybe with a set piece of mechanical parts doing a dance routine. Or maybe with Eric Clapton in the background simulatneously eating a raspberry cake and murdering Robert Johnson songs. With the slogan "Stop Breaking Down" he he he.
No, what I really need, I think is a singing dog.
Right, let's get about it then. This car gives you CONFIDENCE, like some kind of happy pill. So we'll have a cute little dog and have it singing a song that nobody knows, but like...here's the good bit...really confidently in the car, and then really quietly in a post office or a bank.
But how do we get it to look nervous?
Other man: "We could either like...put the dog on a vibrating floor so he looks like he's shivering.
Or, we could just completely destroy the little hound's life by beating him with candy canes and rubber rings, and forest fires, and call him a liar, and then think of other situations where he doesn't know which way to go, at which point we scream at him loudly:
YOU GET TO SIT ON THE FRONT SEAT WITH YOUR NOSE OUT THE WINDOW
And then he'll look all happy to be singing an old soul disco type song."
Me: "It is 1904, what is soul/disco?"
Other man: "That doesn't matter. Do you have a Vibrating floor?
Me: "A what?"
Other man: "It'll have to be the second one then won't it. Excellent!"

Then we made the advert and it got banned, because people thought we were stupid enough to use a vibrating floor instead of just bullying a cute white dog.

Nice Cute Dog